Happy Spew Year!

The New Year has just begun and I already have some good material to Spew about.

This week a 17 year-old client began his session by reporting that he has a big school project overdue from last semester.

It’s not that big a deal, he told me.

I just have to write a whole book in the next six hours.

I looked at him quizzically.

What? Write a whole book? I queried.

I didn’t get it.

Well, it’s a kids’ book, he said. 

So it shouldn’t be that hard.

He then explained he’s doing an independent project and he’s writing a kids’ book that describes what it’s like to have ADHD. He said he didn’t have much written yet, but he wasn’t too worried about it.

I told him he should write about his current situation:

Once upon a time . . . 

A young lad was given an assignment four months ago,

That was due a month ago,

His parents yelled at him,

But he didn’t do it.

Then he was given an extension a month ago,

That was due today,

His parents yelled at him,

But he didn’t do it.

Then he gave himself an extension until midnight tonight,

His parents yelled at him,

And he still hasn’t done it,

And this is what it’s like to have ADHD.

And he lived happily ever after . . .  

He shook his head - he didn’t want to hear my suggestions.

To be honest, he said pensively.

Writing a book is a lot harder than I thought.

I nodded in agreement

Yeah, he said earnestly.

I really thought I could just cook up s*** in my head and be done with it.

I bit my lip and tried not to laugh. In an effort to settle myself, I picked up a pen and wrote down his quote.

Sorry, um, did you say Cook S*** Up, or Cook Up S***? I asked. 

I wanted to get the quote right for the Spew.

He laughed.

Cook. Up. S***, he clarified.

I made sure I wrote it down correctly.

Thanks, I said.

Then I told him I write a blog and asked whether I could use his quote.

Sure, he said.

You can definitely use it.

I then asked him what he’d written for his book thus far and he showed me some scribbles in a notebook (illegible), but then he told me the story that was in his head.

And I kid you not, it was the funniest, most touching, poignant, gripping story, and it completely captured for a young audience what it’s like to have ADHD. If I was a literary agent, I would have pounced on it right then and there. 

It’s absolutely brilliant, I told my client when he finished telling me the tale.

He looked at me sheepishly.

Really? You think?

Yeah, I said sincerely.

It’s genius.

He smiled.

Now all I’ve got to do is write it down, he said.

. . . 

Now that’s what it’s like to have ADHD.

There are always gifts buried beneath the surface of any challenge . . . 

. . .

Parents, I hope you enjoyed sending your kids back to school - Happy New Year!

sues.spew@gmail.com

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To protect my clients’ privacy when I write about them, I change identifying details and circumstances. In addition, I sometimes create amalgams for the purpose of bringing forth universal themes from individual situations. I hope this approach allows readers to hear echoes of their own experience in the stories of others. 

My intention in sharing snippets of other people’s struggles is to provide comfort to all the lonely parents out there who think they suck.